I very clearly remember how much of an up and down couple of
days the 14th and 15th of July 2007 were. Late one night before we moved from the PICU,
there was a “STAT” called for a child down the hall and around the corner from
Tam’s room. The entire scene was
amazing, as everyone available on “7 EAST” at the time dropped what they were
doing and sprang into action like a well-oiled machine. After about 20 minutes or so of
unintelligible yelling and the sounds of additional people rushing to and fro,
the Dr’s and nurses slowly started to filter back to their rooms, many with
tears in their eyes; you see, the little one didn’t make it. Their emotions let me know that this was
indeed more than just another medical procedure, more than just a job to do;
these people truly care about every one of their patients, and they take it
personally when one of “their kids” doesn’t pull through despite their best efforts. I remember feeling so incredibly sad for
those parents, and then feeling badly because I was happy Tam was still alive,
while their child was not. They would
never get to tell him happy birthday again, or rock him to sleep when he was
scared in a storm, or help him with his homework, or many of the other things
that we all as parents take too much for granted. I wept internally for them, and I was deeply
conflicted; my right hand holding Sharon’s, and my left resting on top of
Tamara’s. Even in the midst of someone
else’s pain, I stopped and thanked God once again for the provision and healing
He was giving in Tam’s life, and I prayed that He would somehow, some way bring
peace to the parents of the dear little one, who was no longer with us. Back to the staff in the PICU for just another
moment; Oh my word!!! What a wonderful
group of dedicated professionals who showed what they were made of, and where
their true passion lay in using all of their experience and knowledge to try to
save the life of a child they had only known for a couple of days. May God Bless all doctors and nurses who go
into Pediatric Intensive Care, as there are many other specialties they could
opt for, but they make the choice to care for very sick or badly injured children,
and I applaud them all.
Saturday, Tamara Morgan was driving everyone crazy by
pulling her NG tube out countless times, only to have it reinserted, which is
apparently not at all pleasant, and I actually had to leave the room during the
procedure as it was too much for me to witness. Tam likes to turn over while sleeping to make herself more comfortable,
and it was during this time that we also noticed a serious lagging at the same
time she was being moved from the PICU to the 4th floor recovery unit (not a
favorite place for reasons which I won’t go into here); she was also beginning
to speak again. There was one other kind
of funny thing that happened with Tam one on one the day after her leg was
casted. As I mentioned, she likes to
turn over and get comfortable while resting. Well, Tam is quite strong, and when she flipped over one time, Victor
(the one on one guy) was a little too close, because as Tamara rolled over, she
put a little extra umph into the turn and wailed him right in the chest with
her left leg (the one with the cast) and almost knocked him right off his
feet. Now, keep in mind that this guy
was built like an NFL Linebacker so it was quite humorous to see his reaction
afterward. It was classic! He gathered himself, made sure he caught his
breath and said, “I think she will be fine”…”Wow, that’s gonna leave a
mark”. I laugh to myself even to this
day when I think about it. 😊
The first time I heard Tam's voice was one week after the
accident, when we wanted to put one of her Thomas the train video’s on via the
X-box in her room. Well, we didn’t have
an X-box and I had no idea how to work one either, so I was frantically trying
to get this disc to play, and then in complete defeat I turned to her and said
“I’m sorry Tam, I just can’t get it to work”. Tamara looked at me quizzically, as if to say…’Um Daddy, it should be
quite a simple task’, but there was one major problem, I could not find a PLAY
button. Then it happened; then came that
little voice I was sooo longing to hear, and it said….”Push Play”. With tears welling up in my eyes, I ran over
to her bed, hugged and kissed her, and told her I loved her, and was so happy
to hear her voice. (Yes, I know I just
way overused the word “her” in the last sentence, but oh well). Tamara of course looked at me like I had 6 heads
or something. Like, ‘I think my daddy is
losing his mind, but why’? ‘He’s still
relatively young and in fairly good condition’. She just didn’t know how much I missed hearing her speak, and I couldn’t
clearly communicate it to her without scaring her, because I was so overcome
with emotion. So, note to all: if you push the big
red X on top of the X-box it will play a video, good to know! Ok, so I’m not the world’s smartest guy when
it comes to video games, but hey, you got a laugh out of this part, right? J The main point here is that our
Tamara Morgan was slowly coming back to us, and we were overjoyed! Anyway, there were more updates from me, and
a few more e-mails that I dug up if you have a few moments to read them. Enjoy, and be blessed! <><
*********************************************************************************
Tam Update
Saturday 7-14-07 – 10:30 am
Guess what everyone?
Tamara is talking again!!!! Just
a bit but she is talking…..Praise the Lord for HIS goodness! I came home last
night so I could spend some time with Ally and Nathaniel today before going
back down to the Hospital and Shar called and woke me up at 1:00 am to give me
the Great News……Tam woke up and Shar asked if she was okay, and she
replied…”I’m sick”, then Shar asked if she could say Mommy…..and she took
Sharon literally and said “Mommy, I’m sick”.
She wasn’t throwing up or anything, I think it is just some of the after
effects of sedation but she was scheduled for Zantac shortly anyway, so they
fixed her up! I spoke with Shar again
around 9:00 this morning and she asked Tam is she wanted to watch Thomas (for
Tamara Morgan LOVES, LOVES, LOVES Trains) and she said “yes”….then laid there
with her eyes closed just listening.
I am overjoyed but
not at all surprised at her recovery with all of the prayer going up on her
behalf we had peace that this would work out for the best! Shar and I remember that God is good ALL the
Time, not just when we get what we want. We are and ever will be thankful for Tam being spared any serious permanent
damage, and will share this lesson with anyone who will listen.
Well I’m off to get
the other kids for a bit, so I’ll write more later from CHOP!
Love to you all!
P <><
______________________________________________________________________________
Tam Update 7-14 (afternoon & evening):
Tamara had a tough day on Saturday and consequently I didn’t
feel much like writing. L
7-15 (12:15 am)
So, here I am again Sunday night….Tam has pulled out her NG
tube yet again, and although we thought we could be finished with it she hasn’t
been cleared for anything by mouth yet, and she needs her seizure meds so keep
it she must. I had to leave the room as
that is a procedure I just cannot witness, and Shar being a nurse is much more
used to it. So I go out in the hall or
the lounge and pray and think of how it will be tomorrow. Not that I want to wish away one second of
Tamara’s little life, but I wish we could sort of fast forward over the next
couple of days. Although she is talking
again, it’s only sporadic, and I got to hear her today. Oh my word, I almost cried but I didn’t want
to worry her so I held back my tears and smiled and kissed her and held her
hands!!!! That is what being a Father is
all about! It kind of hits you hard when
you hear your baby speak for the time in a week. I know this is turning into more of a forum
than an update, and I apologize, but well.
sorry…..
I shared with a
co-worker the other day that it may seem like I’m hammering people with God
lately and I know some of you believe as I do and some don’t, but when HE makes
himself real to you, you just have to Tell Everyone about it! I have come closer to God in the last week
than I have been I quite some time, not only because he kept Tam with us, but
because it’s only by HIS strength that I have been able to make it all. I have shed more tears and spent more time on
my knees than in any other time in my life. This situation has rejuvenated prayer in many places and that in and of
itself is a wonderful thing!
I took Ally and
Nathaniel to church today and then we went down to CHOP so they could see their
big sister for a while. My mom and dad
also came by and it was good for them to see her finally. Shar’s mom just recently had surgery herself
and we certainly do not expect her to come down to the city; there will be
plenty of time for Tamara to reunite with Mom Mom and Pop Pop when she returns
home. All in all our time at CHOP has
been very positive, and there is no other Dept that I would want Tam to have
come to than the 7 East PICU, the staff there is second to none in the entire
hospital! While we do sincerely appreciate
the visitors that came to see her before she was moved to 4 South, we really
didn’t want a lot of people coming and seeing her there. It wasn’t the best picture for anyone to
remember.
low-lights and Highlights for the day:
*Tam removed 2 NG
tubes, which are very difficult to replace.
*She said she had to go (first time she has been able to
communicate that to us) but wouldn’t use the bedpan. We’ll get there!
** Tamara said more
things today that lead us to believe that she is on the road to recovery. When asked her age she said “I am 9″…..she
also said “I want”…..Sharon asked what she wanted and she finished with “I want
that off”. Apparently the TV was bothering her. Normally Tamara knows what she
wants and will let you know. This is a
Good Thing! She also said “Push Play” to
me referring to her Train video.
Then she said “Bye bye Nathaniel” “Bye bye Allyson” when her brother and sister
were leaving.
**Tam had her PT Eval with Dr. Drake from Rehab and will be
moved to the Seashore House for 2-3 weeks of intense therapy beginning Monday
or Tuesday.
**Shar was holding some books in her hands and Tam grabbed
the one that she wanted read.
**We had a little game (Tam and I) when she was little
called Beep. I would bonk her nose
lightly and say beep, and then she would do it back, usually a lot harder than
I did, but it was cute. I gave her a
little beep on the nose today and she gave me one back. I nearly melted…..
7:15 am Monday 7-16
We feel much better about where Tam is in the last 2 days,
so much better that I will attempt to go back to work today. Pray that I am ready emotionally! I’ve tried this once already and it didn’t
go well….
Thanks to all of you
for putting up with me being so verbose, but sometimes when I get on a roll it
just happens.
Tam is scheduled for
an MRI of her head today (not sure what time) so she can be cleared to begin
rehab at the Seashore House.
More at lunchtime
today!
P <><
John 1:16 (ESV)
And from His fullness we have all received, grace upon
grace.
___________________________________________________________________________
Peter,
I was so sad to hear
of Tamara and wanted to reach out to you. We are holding Tamara, you and your family up in our prayers. If you feel like talking or just need an ear
to listen, feel free to call on 215-xxx-xxxx (my cell).
Yours in Christ,
_________________________________________________________________________
Peter,
Thank you for the update. We’re on the road but want you to know that my prayers won’t take a
vacation. Keep us posted.
God bless you, brother!
___________________________________________________________________________
Peter,
Great verse by the
way! (i.e. John 1:16). So are you saying
here that Tam will be at a division of CHOP for 2 to 3 weeks? If so, WOW you guys are going to need all
kinds of help! Even if it is outpatient,
that is really a lot. Hope I am wrong
and she can come home soon. I can’t
imagine why they can’t let her eat either. Good progress still. Keep up your
hope in HIM.
______________________________________________________________________________
Peter & Sharon,
Thanks so much for
the updates. Though the journey has been
tough, it sounds as if Tamara is making great strides in her recovery. We’ll continue our prayers for her speedy
recovery and that the Lord takes special care of you and Sharon during this
difficult time.
God Bless.
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